Part X:  Decisions, Decisions

   Dinner was quiet that evening.  Kenshin had cooked, for a change; Ekkusu had asked him, claiming that she would rather sleep than eat.  He'd talked her out of that, but allowed himself to be convinced to prepare the meal itself.  He was worried about her.  They all were, he knew, and with reason.  She'd been acting very strangely of late, vanishing off during the day with no pattern and retreating further into herself.  Even Megumi had commented to him about it, couching her own concerns in a roundabout way.  She didn't seem worried, though he knew she wasn't the type to express herself emotionally.  What worried him most was that Ekkusu had been the same way, until recently.
   Even though she'd promised she would eat, Ekkusu picked at her food.  They'd all noticed she'd been eating less and feeling poorer.  Genzaisensei and Megumi agreed that there was no physical cause for it, and the others wondered what they could do to boost her spirits.  It was hard for them not to watch her, almost as hard as it was not to lose their own appetites.
   Then again, there was never much danger of that.  Yahiko and Sanosuke dug in with as much vigor as always, while Kaoru herself wasn't slowing down much.  Only Kenshin seemed at all affected, but he always seemed to eat with more decor than the others.  Not much was said, but when the meal was over, Sano volunteered to clear the table.  He grabbed Yahiko and volunteered the young student as well.
   "Hey!  What's the big idea?"
   "You do it all the time at the restaurant; what's the big deal?"
   "Shut up, jerk!"
   "Who's a jerk, kid?"  Sano made faces at Yahiko, but out of the corner of his eye he was watching the beautiful woman who didn't seem to notice.  He'd have to try harder.  Seeing her without a smile hurt him more than he cared to admit.
   "I'll go send that letter now," Kaoru said, grinning at the two squabblers.
   "Kid?!  I'll give you kid!"  Yahiko was outraged -- or feigning it very well.  He'd caught Sano's glance in Ekkusu's direction, though he didn't give any sign.  Instead, he jumped on top of the ex-gangster's head and started chewing for all he was worth.
   Normally it would make her laugh, but that night the young woman who had come to them one rainy night didn't seem affected at all.  She rose in silence and retired to her room, only to find Kaoru already there writing the letter she'd mentioned.
   "Who are you writing to?"  She tried to keep her tone light, but she just wasn't as curious as she might have been.
   "I'm writing Misaochan.  We haven't had a vacation in a while.  Maybe we'll go there to visit," she suggested with a smile.  "I think we could all use a break."
   "Maybe you're right."  Maybe, Ekkusu mused to herself, she would feel better after a vacation.  A change in routine always spiced things up nicely.  The life she'd left behind hadn't been pleasant, but it had definitely not been boring.  She had to give herself the opportunity to find out what was at the heart of her discombobulation.
   Silent moments passed as Kaoru wrote and Ekkusu changed for bed.  Finally, Kaoru laid down her brush and folded up the missive, turning to Ekkusu with another smile.  "This will go out in the morning, and before you know it, things will be better.  You'll see.  Maybe you'd like to learn Kamiya Kasshin Ryu?"
   Ekkusu gave the young sensei such a look as to melt the smile away completely.  "It was only a suggestion.  You don't have to act insulted."
   "Can you truly see me learning swordplay?"  Ekkusu's tone was bemused, her expression skeptical.  "I'm a doctor, though admittedly not as good as Megumi.  My knowledge of the human body might give me some advantage in knowing weaknesses, but I'm not a fighter."
   "Not with swords, at any rate."  Kaoru mumbled, looking vaguely resentful.
   "No, perhaps not.  Then again, words as a weapon must never be underestimated.  Often, a deeper wound can be caused with a word or a misconstrual than any physical scar."  She took a deep breath.  "I'm ashamed of myself, not so much because of the markings on my skin but those in my head and on my heart.  The damage he inflicted emotionally and physically cost me far, far more than any physical wounds Kanryu could ever have given."  There was one exception to that, but Ekkusu was not about to admit just how deeply she longed for what she could never again have -- a family of her own.
   Kaoru couldn't help staring at the woman lying in front of her.  Megumi was so different from this woman, despite how similar they seemed.  Megumi would never have admitted anything like this.  Even when she'd confessed to Kaoru that she loved Kenshin, she'd told Kaoru in a roundabout way.  This frank statement took the younger woman aback.
   "Ekkususan..."  She couldn't think of anything else to say.
   "Now, out with you and let me rest.  Though if either of us needs beauty sleep, it wouldn't be me," Ekkusu said with her old verve.
   "What!?"  Kaoru couldn't stifle her initial response, but it took her only a moment.  She turned and stomped out, knowing she couldn't hide the smile at this positive sign.
   She told the others about it later that evening, gladdened almost disproportionately.  She knew Ekkusu was asleep; she'd looked in on her several times.  It was another good sign, she thought, considering that the scarred woman had slept poorly of late.  The four of them sat around, planning how they could contrive for the conversation between Ekkusu and Aoshi to take place.
   "I invited Misao to come here, and bring the others with her.  They'll not be able to stay very long, only a couple of days, but I explained what was going on and I know she'll want to help.  The only problem might be convincing Aoshi to come, but if anyone can do it, it would be Misao and Okina."
   "That's fine, but once he's here how do we get him to talk?"
   "Much less about something so personal."
   Kenshin looked at Sanosuke and Yahiko.  They'd raised good points; Aoshi was never known for his verbosity or openness.
   "If Misao tells him the situation, he might," Kaoru speculated.  "He's not really cold hearted, despite what he tries to make people think."
   "But there's no way to be sure," Yahiko said.  "Unless we get him to promise.  Kenshin, maybe you can fight him, and if you win he has to talk to her!"
   "Oro?"  clearly, the redheaded rurouni wasn't ready for that suggestion.
   Sano grinned.  "Well, it would work, but somehow I don't think it's gonna happen," he told Yahiko.  "Still, what I can't get is what makes her think she's ugly."
   "What if you talked to her?"  Yahiko was serious as he addressed Sanosuke.  "I mean, she was married to another you, and she might actually listen."
   "That's a good idea, Yahiko, but I don't think it would work.  Ekkusu might be hurt more by that than by anything else."
   "I don't get it."
   Kaoru looked at Kenshin for help.  "Well, the Sano she knew suicided because he couldn't help her when she needed him most.  At least, that's the way she seems to believe he thought.  I don't think she's over that loss, and if Sano were to act too interested, she might be hurt even more."  The former hitokiri groped for words; romantic advice had never been a particular strength of his.  "Because she knew someone like him, she might be afraid of being hurt all over again."
   Yahiko looked thoughtful.  "But didn't she also know an Aoshi?  If she knew all of our other...  whatever...  We don't know how the other Aoshi treated her."
   "Since when did you get to make all the good points," Sano grumped.
   Kenshin smiled at his friend.  "Well, Sano, I'm sure if you'd spoken up first, you could have taken credit."
   Kaoru sighed.  "He is right, though.  We don't know WHAT kind of relationship they had, if they got along, or what.  For all we know, he could have been involved in her torture."
   "I don't think so.  Aoshi just isn't the type," Yahiko said.
   "I gotta agree with the brat.  He may be a tightass, but he's no sadist."
   "So how DO we get him to talk to her?"
   No one had an answer for Kaoru, though they discussed it late into the night.
   Though they at last decided to sleep on it, morning brought no further insight.  Ekkusu slipped out immediately after breakfast, bringing her basket with her and saying she'd be back before lunch but had some personal errands to take care of as soon as possible.
   Her expression reflected how preoccupied she was as she made her way through the busy streets of Tokyo.  She'd heard them talking the night before, and part of her wondered if leaving was really the best option. Just yesterday it had seemed her ONLY option.  Maybe she didn't have to go, but it would be nice to speak another language. No doubt it would prove useful at some point, whether or not she left Japan.
   For leaving Japan altogether it would have to be; if she were in any part of her native country, she'd have to hide constantly. There was no doubt in her mind that if she stayed, none of the others would hesitate to track her down no matter how hard she tried to escape. Besides, life had a funny way of bringing things in circles, so she didn't doubt that someday she'd meet up with them again, somehow...