Part VIII - Say You Will, Say You Won't...
 
     "Make up your mind tonight," Ryuu said.  "If you're going to take on that guy, you're going to need more practice."
    Yoshio tossed him a look.  "What's the matter, Oniisama, afraid your wimpy little brother's gonna end up wiping the floor with his own face?  Not a chance.  Seriously though, you know I can handle myself.  It's just a show fight, anyway.  A demonstration, not anything to worry about.  Consider it a public sparring session."
    "Souichi's good, Yoshi."
    "I know that, Ryuu, but we're Oniwa Banshu for a reason.  Relax, will ya?"
    The two brothers had been sparring, verbally and physically, during the lull between the breakfast and lunch rushes, but when Megumi came in in a daze, followed closely by a concerned Amaya, they stopped and looked to their leader.  She shrugged, shaking her head but smiling, as if to say she had no clue what was going on, but felt that things would work out.
    After the doctor had disappeared into the room where she was staying, Amaya looked at her two nephews.  "So you left Machiko alone in the restaurant, I see?"
    "No one's there, Obasan.  If there was, we'd have gone back in."  Yoshio treated people differently depending on his mood; sometimes he could be rather casual and even coarse, while other times he was the picture of courtesy.  Evidently today was a casual day.  Except when a beautiful woman to whom he wasn't related was around, of course.
    Unfortunately for Machiko, she was very cute but not yet beautiful.  Of course, the way she wore her hair and dressed herself wasn't exactly conducive to a delicate, feminine reputation, but the tomboy seemed to enjoy herself in spite of that.  Still, when she worked the restaurant she did make an attempt, and she didn't look quite so childish as she stuck her head in.  "We've got customers.  Amayasama, you're back!  Is everything okay?"
    Midorioka Amaya looked at her young charge with a raised eyebrow.
    "What?  Himurasan's there, and he seems to be handling things well."
    The leader shook her head.  "Come on, back to work.  We'll keep Himurasan occupied.  Have we any word from Shurasan?"
    "Nothing yet."
    "Then why are we standing around?"
    "Good point.  Why do we need to keep Himurasan occupied?" Ryuu wondered.
    "Because Takanisensei needs some time to herself right now."
    "I thought you sad everything was okay," Machiko said accusingly.
    "She is."
    "Did she meet her brother then?"  This from Yoshio.
    "I don't know."
    "How can you not know?"
    Amaya was bombarded by similar questions and explained briefly as they returned to the restaurant, where Kenshin was holding his own among a growing crowd.  "I'm glad you're all here," he smiled gratefully.  "Somehow I didn't think all these people would want to eat my cooking."
    They laughed and fell back into their routine.  Kenshin filled in where he was needed, and as Amaya had suggested, they kept him busy enough to distract him from Megumi.  She needed downtime, that was all Amaya knew, and if for no other reason than she liked this woman who Aoshi loved, then she would have that downtime and anything else she needed.
    He hadn't said so, in so many words, but in the former okashira's letter she had been able to read between the lines and knew his heart in the matter.  She'd been in his situation once, loving someone who she was unsure of, in a rather precarious situation.  It made his brief correspondence much easier to understand, especially when she met the woman.  Her own love had been not so different.
    While they worked, Megumi lay on her futon in the middle of the day, feeling cold and numb.  She'd learned a lot in one morning, most of it she'd never imagined and certainly had never dreamed she'd find out.  Her father had been unfaithful to her mother, and at such a time.  She had an illegitimate half brother.  She longed for the comfortable oblivion she'd had before the day she decided to come marching up to Aizu.
    "I can't stay," she said softly to the uncaring walls.  "There's nothing for me here now but more reminders..."  She wasn't even aware she spoke aloud.  "Aoshisan is good to me.  I don't need to go back to Tokyo, or to Kyoto, I could go somewhere completely different."  She was just as oblivious of the tears quietly fleeing the corners of her eyes.  So much of her illusions had been shattered.  Kage was well named.  Shadow.  She wondered if he had chosen the name himself or if it had been given to him.
    A little more than an hour later, Kenshin passed by.  She seemed so much smaller, younger and more vulnerable, when she was asleep, he noticed, and then he saw the track marks of tears beneath her closed eyelashes.  His first thought was to protect her, but from what?  Clearly there was no physical threat -- he had watched her practicing from time to time, and she really had gotten pretty skillful with her staff.  Someone, as a gag gift, had obtained two snakes preserved by taxidermy and wound them around the wooden shaft with the intention to reproduce the old Greek symbol of the caduceus.  She had taken it well; the giver (who had tried to remain anonymous) had taken only severe bruises and a sorely injured pride.
    Sano had sulked about that for over a month, insisting he was only trying to be helpful.
    Megumi had to admit, however, that once she had gotten past her initial shock and revulsion, it WAS rather funny.  And the snakes could give anyone a good scare, especially if they weren't expecting it.
    Sometimes a battle not fought was the best victory to gain, as well as the least potentially painful.  Megumi had often wondered what she would do if she ever injured an opponent.  If it was serious enough, she'd probably stop fighting and insist on tending to her patient; her intention was to heal but it couldn't do any harm if, in bandaging, she gave herself a tiny little advantage such as mobility...
    "The best opponent is one who can't hurt you," Omasu had said during their training.  "If you can take them out without really hurting them, that's your best bet.  As often as not, someone who can do that probably won't get a repeat  performance, and if you do it often enough word will spread.  It's a way to earn the respect, awe, and even fear of your enemies."  The other woman had put on airs of pomposity, but a glint in her eye had told Megumi she was serious.
    Sano's argument for having entwined her staff was inspired by that philosophy.  "Wouldn't ya rather have the bastards just run away?  No sense messin' that pretty face," he'd teased.  That had been why he'd run away after all, she'd said later.  Scared off by a pretty face.
    He hadn't taken it well, but they had made peace before he departed.
    Kenshin smiled at the memories as he walked on.  It was sometimes very easy to forget how much they'd all been through together in light of the pleasant memories, but he had a feeling this was going to be one of those hard times.  Megumi's personal crisis would affect them all, and he was afraid of some of the repercussions they might have to endure.
    The way he saw it, she'd have four basic choices, regardless of the outcome.  She might decide to stay in Aizu, she might decide to return to Kyoto as he knew she would not come back to Tokyo; she might decide to travel somewhere else entirely before putting down roots...  The fourth choice did not bear thinking about.  None of them would allow her to consider that route again if they all had to sit on her for a month.
    That thought reminded him of his wife's eventual admission of her state after he'd first gone to Kyoto, hunting down Shishio Makoto, especially of how she'd admitted that it was Megumi who brought her out of it, and how the doctor had done so.  That thought made him realize just how far Megumi had come after all.  She'd promised him before she wouldn't do it.
    He just had to have faith.  In the meantime, he was simply dying of curiosity.  What had happened?  Had the man they'd found been her brother?
    Amaya found him just before dinner sitting guard outside, across the yard where he might see Megumi the moment she emerged.  He wasn't going to go so far as to actually stalk her until she told, but he had letters to send, if she was staying.  Even if she was going, he'd prepared a few notes, just leaving the blanks he didn't know to be filled in once information came to him.
    "Oh come on, Himurasan.  Break time's over.  You're acting like a schoolboy with a crush," she said disparagingly.  "You, a married man, at your age, and with your legend no less!  Come on, Ryuu's got dinner ready for us, and then it's back to work for you!"
    "Oro?"  He looked up, abashed.  "But Megumidono hasn't come out of her room since this morning.  Are you sure she's all right?"
    "She's not dead, or we'd have noticed by now.  Machiko's been looking in on her every hour or so, and so far she seems to be crying and sleeping."
    Kenshin felt helpless as Amaya dragged him off to eat.
    "Don't worry, Himurasan," the youngest Aizu branch member said.  "She'll be okay, but I think she should go back to her friends soon.  Just between us.  I heard her..."  She looked guiltily at Amaya before continuing.  "While she was crying, she kept saying she couldn't stay...  I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to listen in."
    Yoshi shook his head.  "I dunno about you.  You sure you ain't putting words in her mouth?"
    Machiko, despite having seen the smoldering looks that had passed the day before between her crush and her newfound acquaintance, was clearly above that.  "You're such a jerk, Yoshi," she muttered, playing aimlessly with her food.
    He was saved the trouble of a reply by the heavy footsteps of a tired and burdened young woman.  A thud echoed through the halls as she dropped her burden.  "I'm sorry I'm late," Shura said as she strode in.  "Rough seas.  Oh..."  She stared at Kenshin for a long moment.  "Himura!  It's you!"
    "Usually," he replied with a smile.  "Shuradono.  It's been a very long time."
    "You..  What are you doing here?  Is everything all right?  You haven't left the others have you?  I never expected to see you again," she said as she sank to a seat next to him.  "Good, I'm starving," she said as Ryuu set plates in front of them without missing a beat.  "How is everyone?"
    Kenshin brought Shura up to date on everyone in Kyoto, how he had married Kaoru and they had a child; Yahiko's forthcoming marriage to Tsubame, and Sano's vanishing off into the distance.  "I'm here with Megumidono..."
    Amaya took up the story.  "Takani Megumi is a doctor from the area.  She came in search of her family.  She's resting now."  The look she gave her old friend promised to explain everything later.
    Kenshin looked worried.  Shura, understanding Amaya's message, began to relate her journeys since they'd parted ways.
    Alone in her room, Megumi heard none of them.  However, they didn't hear her crying again, either.