Prologue

In addition to the usual disclaimers, I note that A) I'd like you not to kill, maim, threaten, or otherwise impair my ability to live until you've read the whole thing.  It's supposed to be evil and sick and twisted and funny, it is not supposed to be (too) cruel.  B) Some people believe in a god with a sick, evil sense of humor and a raging love of irony, even sadism.  They live in this fanfic.  And you're lookin' at 'er. ^n_~^ C) This was begun in fun, it was completed in fun, and I seriously hope you will take it as such.  D) If anyone is offended, well, too bad, it's your own fault for not appreciating me.  (sniff pout) E) Oh, and the concept and characters of Ranma 1/2 belong to Takahashi Rumikosan.  Don't blame me for her ideas, don't blame her for mine.  And so, the prologue of our story begins as....

     Himura Kenshin knelt over a steaming washtub, up to his elbows in laundry.  There had once been a time when he had felt relaxed at his chores; not so more recently.  It had all started with that trip to China.
     It had been Kaoru's idea, of course.  Sano thought she was crazy when she suggested it, but when she teased that the only reason he didn't like the idea of boats, he took it as a challenge.
     "I don't hate boats!"  He'd been outraged, but continued in an embarrassed mutter, "It's trains I don't trust."
     Even Megumi had liked the idea.  "It's a wonderful idea.  I think we could all use a vacation."  And of course Yahiko was not going to argue, especially since Kaoru was smart enough not to tell him until they were already en route that one of their destinations was a famous training ground.
     "That's your problem, Kenshin.  You're too nice these days."
     He didn't realize he had spoken aloud until Sano commented, "You took the words right out of my mouth."
     "Oro?"  Kenshin looked up from the laundry, startled.  Sagara Sanosuke looked back at him, grinning arrogantly around a fishbone and leaning against the porch.
     "You're nice enough to be a woman.  I think you'd make someone a great wife."
     Kenshin's eyes narrowed but he said nothing, returning instead to his laundry.  It wasn't like Sano didn't have worries of his own.  Why did the guy have to be so puerile?  Granted, he
was nearly a decade youngster than Kenshin, but he was still old enough to know better.  And besides...
     For once, Sano let it drop.  Kenshin noticed he'd been doing more of that since they'd returned.  He didn't leave, however; his attention was caught by a figure coming up to the gate.
     "Oiy, Fox, what brings you skulking around?"
     Takani Megumi glared at him.  It had been annoying enough when he'd called her Fox before.  Now, it bordered on intolerable.
     "Why don't you go play with your little friends? Then again, I'm sure some nice farm has some extra corn they'd be willing to feed you."
     Sanosuke tried to toss it off with a sarcastic, "Oh, you wound me.  The Fox has teeth."  But his eyes betrayed his hurt.
     "Konnichiwa, Megumidono."
     "Kensan!  Just the man I've been looking for.  I wanted to tell you I've been making progress towards some sort of antidote."  She smiled.  "It's not much, but I think I'm beginning to understand how it works, and knowing that may help find the remedy."
     "That's great!  What have you found?"  Kenshin's eyes widened with hope.  Maybe his lot wasn't quite so awful as the others', but it certainly was awkward.
     "Don't get too excited yet, Kenshin.  Besides, I think this is a good thing for you."
     "Sano, stop being such a chickenhead.  Oh, dear me, I'm sorry.  I should have remembered you truly can't help it, can you."  She smiled sweetly.  A little too sweetly for Sano's taste.  He growled.
     "Just talk, onna."
     She smiled at Kenshin. "I admit, it's not much, but the water only seems to act on people.  That means whatever is in it has very specific instructions.  The bad news is, it may not be possible to cure just by using the same water with the right instructions."
     He nodded.  "Any start is a good one."
     "Oh yeah, real good."  Sanosuke was still grouching over the chickenhead remark.  He was very sore about that, now more than ever.  Not that he was a bad guy, he knew.  He had his flaws but that had been a low blow.
     Besides, being a chicken had to have its merits.  Didn't it?
     Things had gotten much more strained at the Kamiya Dojo since that fateful trip.  Not that anyone would be leaving the "Kenshingumi" but even Kenshin's normally even temper was fraying.
     Yahiko, of course, chose that moment to walk in.  He assessed the situation in a moment, and being in a good mood, quipped "Hey, Kenshin, why are Sano and Megumi growling at each other like animals?"  He grinned.
     Right into Sanosuke's foot.
    "Itai...  What'd ya do that for, you big jerk?"  Yahiko glared at Sano over the foot planted in his face.
     "Don't be such an ass, kid.  It isn't nice to laugh at other people's misfortunes."  Sano finally removed his foot from the boy's face.
     "Wow, Sano, I didn't know you had it in you!  Sensitivity suits you!"  Yahiko ducked before the foot could be replaced.
     It was rather true, though.  Sanosuke had been much more sensitive about everything since their return.  He'd been even more likely to take things personally and retreat, both into himself and physically to walk away.  He did so then.
     "Sano, wait, I was teasing.  What's with him lately anyway?"  He turned to Kenshin and Megumi.  "Ever since you all took a swim, you've all been acting weird but he's the worst."  Yahiko had managed not to fall into any of the springs.  In a way, he'd been the lucky one, yet somehow he didn't see it that way...