Part III: Haze

    Kenshin woke slowly, feeling rested and yet everything felt jumbled.  He was comfortable where he lay, instinctively drawing closer to the woman in his arms before he realized where he was.
   He jumped up, fully awake. "Megumidono!" He glanced out the window as she shot awake with a doctor's alertness.
    "What -- Kensan?"
    He looked relieved and not hurt, so she relaxed. "It's still light out. We can finish the shopping." He could not bring himself to look at her, his cheeks burning with shame. He had bared his soul to her, and now she surely must think poorly of him for taking advantage of such a moment!
    "Ken-nii," she smiled, "It's all right. You needed time to heal. You still do." She rose a little stiffly and looked at him.
    "Needono." He smiled nervously at her. It hadn't been a dream, then.
    "Hai, Ken-nii. But let's keep this to ourselves for now, all right? I don't think the others are ready for it." She was herself again, teasing him.
    He sobered. "She's dead, Megumidono. I saw her and yet I know she's dead." All other thoughts fled his mind in light of that one shattering vision.
    "Kensan, don't think so much about it right now, and it won't be so hard to bear. If it was her or if it wasn't, things can only happen the way they're meant to."
    He nodded. "You're right. I know it, but..."
    "Of course I'm right! I'm a doctor!" Her laugh was light but she turned to the door as she spoke, adjusting her hair and her kimono so he could not see that her smile did not fill her eyes.
    They walked out once more into the streets of the market in silence, each lost in thought as they had been on the way that morning. The only difference was the focus of their conversation; now they discussed the quality and prices of the available produce instead of the fair weather.
    Before long they walked back to the dojo, laden with groceries enough to last perhaps three days, considering how much was eaten by how many people in the supposedly inactive dojo. Though it had been many months since the man Hiruma Gohei had destroyed its reputation, there'd been no sign of it being built up again, and no pupils came to study under Kamiyasensei's tutelage.
    There had been no more ghosts or flashbacks since they'd left the clinic apartment, though neither was quite able to put the incident out of their heads.
    "You sure took long enough," Kaoru griped as they entered the gate. "Hey! What happened to you two? Did you get in a fight or something?" Megumi blushed and touched the dark bruise on her cheek. She'd almost forgotten about that part.
    She glanced at Kenshin before answering, "I fell and bit my lip."
    Kenshin looked even more embarrassed. "And I --"
    "He walked into a cabinet door at the clinic while I was trying to clean myself up. He was trying to help."
    "Really, Kenshin, who taught you to walk anyway?" Kaoru half-teased him. She looked doubtful, but wasn't going to pry... Yet.
    Kenshin looked even more embarrassed. Trying to look innocent, all he could come up with was a faint, "Oro?"
    Megumi adjusted the bags she carried and went inside. Kenshin, glad of a reprieve, followed suit.
    "A cabinet door?"
    "Well, what did you want me to say?"
    "I'm not that clumsy!"
    "Don't start, Ken-nii." Megumi halted the whispered conversation, smiling brightly.
    "So where's our delicate friend today, still out spending a productive day doing honest work?" Megumi's eyes didn't quite sparkle with their usual luster as she teased.
    "Have you ever known Sano to do anything but? OW!" Yahiko's' cry of outrage earned him still another thwack from his young sensei's bokken.
    "Shut up and keep practicing, baka." Kaoru turned back to Megumi. "He's right though. Have you ever known Sanosuke to be anything but hardworking?"
    Kenshin emerged from the dojo, smiling. "Of course, someone as hardworking and as delicate as our Sano could never do anything but contribute to the good of society," Megumi quipped.
    "It's a good thing he's not here right now," Kenshin replied, "Or you'd have to fix us all up, Megumidono."
    Megumi laughed, then gasped and touched her face again.
    "Maybe you should put something on that, Megumisan. Can I help at all?" Kaoru sent Yahiko a look. He glared back but kept practicing as his sensei laid her own practice sword aside and went to the older woman's assistance.
    Megumi was glad that Kaoru was not experienced enough to realize what had really caused her bruise. It wasn't her decision to share, but he could not keep Kenshin from telling if he chose. She was not ready, however, for the others to find out about the new twist in their relationship, and she knew he would respect that.
    She watched him slip quietly back inside as Kaoru helped her assemble a poultice for his cheek. Her patient would need time to rest after such a shock. She started explaining the poultice to the younger woman to keep herself distracted.
    "There's not much I can really do, though it will help somewhat. I'm a little embarrassed to admit it," Megumi smiled lopsidedly, "But I'm the reason we took so long. I dragged him shopping for me before we picked up the groceries."
    Kaoru wasn't certain if she should be annoyed. "Oh, what did you get?"
    "A new kimono. But I ran poor Kensan ragged!"
    "Oh, I'm sure. What's it look like?" Kaoru settled in, distracted momentarily by the rare chance for girl talk.
    "It's not all that different from this one, really. Only this one is starting to look a little bit ragged," Megumi lifted the hem slightly to show the other woman. "See. Where it's starting to fray over there, at the edge?"
    Kaoru nodded. "You have such nice taste, Megumisan."
    "Thank you! Except I don't think so, I'm afraid. I stick with the same thing over and over. You at least aren't afraid to try new things, new colors!"
    Kaoru smiled and was about to speak when a dry voice chimed in sarcastically behind her.
    "Well, isn't this cozy, the girls of the dojo are actually female after all."
    "Oh, Sanosuke, you wound us so! How can we stand up to such a man as you? Yes, we are but weak females, unable to so much as stand without your generous assistance." Megumi sighed dramatically. "Would you be so kind as to assist me to rise, you darling, wonderful, strong man you?" She batted her eyes and held out one graceful hand.
    Sanosuke's egotistic grin seemed about to split his face. "So glad to see you acknowledge my greatness at last!" He took her hand and tugged.
    And nearly fell on top of her before she slipped aside, out of his way after yanking down. She'd never actually pulled this trick on him, and both girls found it quite amusing to see the expression on his face. Sano rolled over and leaned up on one arm, glowering at the girls as they laughed even harder.
    "Ah, itai!" Megumi winced again and put a hand to her swollen lip.
    Sano blinked and tried not to look concerned. "Oiy, what happened to you? Get into a fight with a floor? Never imagined the great onnasensei would take such treatment."
    "No, actually, it was my fault." The red-haired rurouni stood in the door of the dojo again, looking down as he stepped outside.
    Sanosuke didn't notice Kenshin's bandage until the latter sat with them, in the grass. "You didn't fight each other or nothin'? Or did the Fox decide she wanted scars to match you?"
    Kaoru gave Sanosuke a dirty look as Megumi glanced at Kenshin before following his gaze to the ground.
    Kenshin spoke quietly at the sakabattou across his knees.
    "Actually, I did hit her."
    "What!" Kaoru was shocked, and though she wasn't alone, Sano suddenly got very still.
    "You... Hit... Megumi." His face darkened and his eyes narrowed, but Megumi laid a cautioning hand on his shoulder.
    "Why Sano, I didn't know you cared so much! Now shush," she said, dropping the teasing in her tone, "and let him talk."
    Sanosuke said nothing further but did not stop glaring at the other man who remained still, not looking up and trying to find the right way to begin.
    "I'm afraid I did hit Megumidono. And I take full responsibility for my actions."
    "Kensan, it isn't like you did it deliberately."
    Kaoru and Sanosuke looked at each other as Yahiko laid down his shinai and wandered over. "What's going on?"
    The doctor looked up at him and nodded to the space between Kenshin and Sanosuke. The boy sat, looking from one to another of his friends in confusion.
    Kenshin still did not look up, his face hidden behind a cascade of thick red bangs. He spoke quietly, his voice solemn as the story came out.  "Megumidono wanted a kimono, so I went with her and helped her bring it back to her room. We were going to get the groceries and had just left when I saw someone. Someone I haven't seen in a very long time." He took a slow breath. "I went back inside and Megumidono followed me, when she saw this." He lifted his hand and pulled off the bandage over his still bleeding scar.
    "Kenshin, you're still bleeding!" Kaoru reached out to him but Sano stopped her.
    "Jouchan, stop stating the obvious and let him talk." The ex-gangster still focused his gaze on the bleeding man's face.
    "Someone once told me that a wound given or taken in hate would not heal until the hate was laid to rest.  I thought ten years ago that it was." Kenshin owed his head again. "Megumidono was only trying to help, but I pushed her away."
    "You see, I really did fall and bite my lip.  I was caught as off guard as Kensan.  The look on his face mirrored my feelings exactly --- he looked like he'd never seen his own hand before."  Megumi's eyes were fixed on the same spot of ground that Kenshin's were.  "Then he helped me up and spent several minutes apologzing and trying to fix my lip while his own face was covered in blood."
    Kenshin smiled ruefully.  "It was my own fault, Megumidono."
    "Kensan, stop that right now.  Tell them what you will but stop blaming yourself.  I don't."
    He nodded and continued.  "Im afraid I fell asleep after telling Megumidono about what happened."
    "A natural aftereffect of heavy stress."  Megumi colored slightly.  "I'm afraid I fell asleep too, with Kensan on my lap, which is why we were gone so long.  Buying my new kimono didn't take all that long."
    There was a slight pause.  "So you slept together.  How very interesting," Sano smirked.  The others all blushed, except for Yahiko, whose jaw dropped.
    Kaoru's bokken connected with his head before he could say anything.  It conveniently introduced itself to Sano on the return trip.
    Megumi paused to wonder how Kaoru's bokken had gotten from the side of the dojo to Kaoru's hand, but Kenshin spoke again and she gave up.
    "When I woke up, I realized I was asleep on Megumidono."
    "He panicked, but I'm a doctor.  Sometime a friend's shoulder is the best medicine."  She looked at Kenshin as she spoke, smiling gently.  "Then we came back."
    "The problem is," Kenshin picked up the story again, "The woman I saw at the market today.  I couldn't  have seen her today, but it had to be her.  Only, she's dead.  I know she is."
    "Kenshin, couldn't you be wrong?  Maybe you heard wrong --" Kaoru's comment was cut off by Kenshin's dark retort.
    "I killed her."  His voice cut through the silence like a new katana.  "She was my wife and I killed her."
    Megumi reached out and laid a hand over his own.  There was a very long silence.
    "Wife.  You had a wife."  Kaoru didn't seem to know how to handle that information.  "You had a wife?"
    "Kenshin, why didn't you ever tell us before?"  Sanosuke's eyes burned still, only now with curiosity.  He looked hurt, but not in his usual arrogant style.
    Yahiko, for once, was completely speechless.
    "It never came up.  I'd  hoped it never would."  Kenshin sighed and Megumi squeezed his hand reassuringly.
    Kaoru had recovered enough from the shock, it seemed, to  begin to glare at Megumi's hand.
    "I think I hear Genzaisensei and the girls.  It's getting late."  Megumi looked up as the three came into view.  "Shall I make dinner this evening?"
    Kaoru was the one who nodded first.  She hadn't moved or spoken since Kenshin's revelation.
    Sano rose with Megumi.  "Maybe I can help."
    Megumi blinked, not quite feigning total hock.  "You?  Help in the kitchen?  Sano, are you feeling all right?"  She moved forward to put a hand to his forehead.  "You must be sick!"
    Sanosuke looked genuinely hurt but his words were full of his usual arrogance.  "I was only concerned that you might fall again.  After all, you are pretty fragile.  Can't have the cook dropping supper now, can we?"
    Megumi ignored his words, noticing the way he did not look at her, closing his eyes and raising his chin as he turned away.  "Come on.  I suppose you can't be a total disaster.  You can help if you like.  Yahiko can play with the girls while the others talk."  She waved to the small family entering the gate as she entered the dojo proper, Sano trailing uncertainly.
    "I'm going to regret this, I just know I will," he muttered as he vanished inside.
    Kenshin nodded to Kaoru and Yahiko.  "Why don't you four enjoy yourselves?  I'd like to speak to Genzaisensei."  Kaoru looked like she was about to protest, but thought better of it and trailed after the younger set.
    The old doctor sat on the porch next to the rurouni.  "Are you all right?  I was concerned when I heard screaming at the clinic.  Megumisan seemed to be all right, but you still have me concerned.  Is there anything I can help with?"  His eyes were gentle as he looked at the other with grandfatherly concern.
    They watched the games in the yard as Kenshin told his story again, this time telling about the pact he had made with Megumi and asking the older doctor to say nothing to the others about it.
    Sanosuke nodded to himself inside the doorway.  So Megumi and Kenshin really had bonded, only not in the way he'd dreaded.  Yes, she still cared for the beautiful older man, but she'd also given up her romantic love for the sake of sisterhood and friendship to a man who needed family.   Sano would never breathe a word of this.  It hadn't been his intention to overhear, but it was good to know.  He smiled to himself and went back, unnoticed by the others.
    Kenshin had known he was there, passing the door as he had spoken to the doctor.  He had known, too, that Sanosuke cared very much for the attractive doctor and that it was very important for him to be assured of her safety.  Sanosuke could be trusted when it counted.  Kenshin hoped Megumi wouldn't mind too much.  He hoped, also, that Sanosuke would remain silent.  He pretended he'd never noticed the younger man standing in the door as he wound down, no longer looking at Genzaisensei but instead at the dirt near his feet.
    The other man nodded.  "Kenshin, what you've endured is far more than many could survive at all.  I've never known you to hallucinate or be unbalanced at all.  Is it possible that someone was able to take her to get help while you were unconscious?"
    Kenshin shook his head.  "I don't think so.  Not the way things were.  But...  It's not impossible."
    The grandfather sighed.  "I can't help a patient who won't be helped.  You said she was gone when you came around.  Are you sure you left no more who might have taken her away?
    "I was the Hitokiri Battousai." It wasn't a simple statement.  Those few words held more weight than any the old doctor could ever remember hearing from the younger man.
    "But you were severely injured and in shock."
    Kenshin seemed about to deny it again, but he paused.  In the condition, he'd been in, he hadn't been sure that there hadn't been anyone else, except he was still alive.  Yet, it wasn't impossible...
    They fell silent watching Kaoru and Yahiko play with the two little girls when Megumi finally stuck her head out and announced dinner.
    The four younger people charged past the two sitting on the porch, clamoring excitedly.  Even Kaoru seemed to have put matters out of her mind for the time being as Kenshin nodded at the doctor next to him.  "I'll be in in a moment."
    He stood as the others went inside, but Kenshin hesitated, looking out into the trees in the distance, watching the branches swaying in the same breeze that toyed with his hair.
    "Tomoe."  Violet eyes closed painfully as a slow trickle of blood eased its way down Kenshin's cheek.