Part II: Memory

    "Tomoe." Megumi repeated the name but could not capture the power it had coming from the man's own lips. He had said it in a monotone that held too much emotion, yet his face bore no expression.
    "Kensan, let me look at that." Megumi reached towards him slowly with a fresh bandage, and Kenshin did not push her away. Instead, his eyes closed as she worked on the scar he'd thought healed for a decade, which had opened without warning on its own.
    "Tell me, please, Kensan. Let --" Her voice caught. "Let me be your sister," she whispered, and he opened his eyes to see her touch her own bloody lips with a clean finger. It seemed right as he put his hand to his own face and touched her finger, mingling her blood with his own. He felt detached, as if he wasn't quite operating on the same plane as she, yet it made perfect sense.
    Her eyes closed, and something inside him realized what this meant to her and how much it would cost her.  She was giving up every hope of a chance she might ever have had to be his lover in exchange for a more stable, stronger friendship. Part of him regretted the loss, knowing as he did that much of the teasing and flirting would be gone, but this meant even more to him than the games.
    It meant she knew what he needed most and was willing to give it freely, without fear. It was something any man would love in a woman, only now it was too late. She was his family now, and there were lines that were not crossed.
    Then he realized. This meant he had family, real family now. And for Megumi, though her family was still alive, they might as well not have existed for her except as a dream she continued to deny herself. Now she was his sister.
    He opened his eyes and smiled, not the silly or embarrassed smile he usually wore. He let down his guard as completely as he could, letting his experience, his pain and his joy, his wisdom and his love for those he protected showing through. "Megumidono..." He shook his head slightly, holding up his head. "Megumi... Neechan...  nn." He looked perplexed for a long moment, then smiled.  "Needono."  His voice was barely a whisper as he smiled.
    "Ken-nii." Megumi smiled as she spoke the nickname, but she wasn't fast enough to wipe away the tear that belied the lightness of her tone. "Tell me about her, Kensan. Tell me about the woman Tomoe." Her voice was as gentle as her hands as she cleaned his still bleeding scar.
    "It was over ten years ago. I was a hitokiri for the government then, and barely Kaorudono's age. You know that part." The doctor nodded. "There were problems, to say the least. Things were out of control, and I was getting tired of it.
    "There was a woman who had seen me one night, standing over someone I'd just killed. I wasn't sure if I would have to kill her too -- she was an innocent, someone I was supposed to protect by killing others. I didn't know she was drunk until later, but she passed out and I caught her." He sighed. "She said to me, 'You make it rain blood.' Those were her first words to me." Kenshin took another deep breath.
    "She had been betrothed to someone I'd already killed. She came to Kyoto to find him." The rurouni's eyes closed as Megumi tied a small bandage over his scars and he continued. "I stole her happiness. I didn't find that out until later either.
    "Things just kept getting worse, politically. I'm sure you must remember some of it."
    "I do." Megumi's voice lingered softly in the silence.
    "I was sent away to live with Tomoe as my wife, to protect both of us. No one was supposed to know where we were. It was hard at first. We barely knew each other. She only knew I'd killed her betrothed. They'd known each other since they were children. She had every reason to hate me. She did, too."
    Megumi had finished doing what she could and sat back, closing her eyes. How could he have lived with such pain inside...
    "Six months. Six months that started out so difficult, but before long, I was happy. Content. And she was too. Yukishiro Tomoe became Himura Tomoe in more than just a facade. We were happy together. Only, she was working as a spy. When I found out, I went to find her -- she'd gone back to report to her group.
    "It was a trap, and I killed them all to get to her. I was against their leader when it happened. I was in bad shape." Kenshin opened his eyes at last and looked at the woman across from him. "I would have made you angry, walking around like Sanosuke, unable to admit he's injured." He smiled and the doctor smiled back.
    He sobered again. "She jumped between us. I killed him as she grabbed the knife he was going to kill me with. Only, I hit her too. She gave me this," he touched the bloody bandage, "and she smiled, and asked me to forgive her.
    "She died, Megumidono. I know she died. I dragged myself away and blacked out. When I came to, she was one. I couldn't follow the tracks. She had to be dead. I killed the woman I... The woman I loved." Suddenly he was angry, standing to his full height and glaring with wrath at an enemy only he could see. "I killed her!"
    The scream was primal, but more basic were the tears flowing from his eyes as he sank to the ground.
    Megumi put her arms around him and rocked him gently back and forth as he sobbed.
    There was a soft knock on the door and Genzaisensei looked in, catching Megumi's eye. She nodded and he slipped out quietly, after leaving a packet on the small table by the door.
    Megumi closed her eyes and held the former hitokiri close, swaying and murmuring softly without words, crooning a long forgotten lullaby. Slowly the man's sobs eased and his breathing grew more regular. She shifted her legs out from beneath herself and leaned against the wall, stroking his hair and listening to him breathe softly in sleep until her own eyes drifted shut.